Reese Witherspoon visited Ellen DeGeneres yesterday to promote Morning Show, her Apple TV+ project she’s producing with Jennifer Aniston. Just to get the superficial stuff out of the way: first, Reese looked amazing. Her cornflower blue silky shirt and matching slacks will be my next copycat outfit purchase. Second, I am going to watch the hell out of her show. I get more into each blurb I see.

But now for the important part of the interview. After all, it’s Friday and you know what that means: DOGGOS! It turns out, Reese has a dog addiction just like Dog CB (that’s like Dog Twitter, but cooler, because it’s Celebitchy). Reese told Ellen a story about teaching her 16-year-old son, Deacon, to drive. After everyone took a moment to recover from the fact that Deacon is old enough to drive (!!), Reese explained we had nothing to worry about with him on the motorways because he’s a good driver, better than her, in fact. And the reason is because he watches the road while Reese watches out for bulldogs. Once she spots one, she pulls over to get a closer look. The dog discussion starts the 4:00 mark:

The dog related content is:

You’re teaching (Deacon) how to drive?

Yes, he’s starting to drive, God help us all. But he’s a good driver, he’s actually a better driver than I am. I get distracted a lot, because I see cute dogs. I literally will pull over the car and get out of the car. If it’s a bulldog, only a bulldog. I’m very preferential of certain breeds.

If someone’s walking a dog, or just if it’s loose you mean?
Oh no, if it’s being walked by somebody and it’s really cute… You don’t do that?

Could you imagine? You’re out walking your bulldog, Churchill, when all of a sudden, an expensive SUV whips across three lanes of traffic and stops in front of you. Out leaps Reese Witherspoon squealing and running up to your pup. Churchill’s thinking, “back off, lady.” And Reese is all, “do you know my name?!” And that’s when Churchill realizes none of you are making it back for naptime if he doesn’t accommodate this daffy blonde, so he sits down and allows cuddles to commence. You’d have the best story at dinner, for sure. But I guess us non-bulldog dog parents won’t ever get to tell it. I don’t actually fault Reese for her breed-specific reactions. My husband, who is generally a normal-passing adult in public, loses it over Pomeranians. The other day, he face-timed me holding one he’d met at Einsteins’ Bagels. I won’t track you down in my car but if you are walking towards me your pup smiles at me, I will carry on a full conversation with them, be warned. Doesn’t matter the breed or what language they speak, we’re having a discussion that probably will involve an embarrassing amount of baby talk.

Dogs aren’t Reese’s only weakness, last week, she lost it over a baby goat. Again, I don’t fault her, I just think this is her default for animals. I wonder if her co-stars sneak bulldogs and baby farm animals on to set to see if they can get her to flub her lines? More specifically, do they bring her bulldogs on set to distract her, because Pepper (her French bulldog) and Louis Armstrong (her 16-week-old English bulldog) are the cutest. Reese said of Louis, “he’s eaten the majority of the cabinets in my kitchen, but it’s okay, I don’t care. I’ll get a new kitchen.” Perfectly logical answer, in my opinion.

What’s that? What do Louis and Pepper look like? Well, I’m glad you asked:

Photo credit: Instagram, EllenTube and WENN Photos